TwoP is in the process of collecting nominations for their annual Tubey awards, honouring the best and worst series this season. This would be mine:

Best New Show: Gossip Girl - I guess that should be filed under 'Guiltiest Pleasure'. It's very relaxing. There is no chance to identify with any of the spoiled private school brats (albeit the undisputable greatness of some of them) which means your heart isn't in it, but you can enjoy the ride. Perfect.
Worst New Show: Big Shots - there are no words to describe the utmost horrifying goulishness of this show. Whiny, rich white men in their midlife crisis stroll around the golfcourse and blabber nonsense. I suffered through one episode only because agent 'first of all my name is not Vaughn' was part of the ensemble (obviously still unable to make rational decisions after Jennifer Garner left him to reproduce with Ben Affleck). And it was painful indeed.
Worst Returning Show: One Tree Hill - Compared to this sleezy teeny-show 90210 had been a subversive, multi-layered and witty masterpiece on the cutting edge of contemporary youth culture.
And if Monk is still on the air: I hate Monk too.
Most Improved Show: Lost
Least Improved Show: Heroes
Best Comedy: 30 Rock
Guiltiest Pleasure: Moonlight - man that was a bad one, but I watched nevertheless. Vampire turned private detective (hi, Angel). In love. With a mortal women. Groundbraking storyline. To add insult to injury it looked like it had been produced 8 years ago. Surprisingly it won the People's Choice Awards. Oh, and it got cancelled.
Most Overrated Show: Pushing Daisies, Ugly Betty - The first one has a surreal, fairy-tale look, affirming in every scene that it is in fact not real which I normally like. But the cute shtick gets old quickly and the kaleidoscope of forced strangeness in oversaturated colours becomes a nuisence. The second one is just plain dull.
Favorite Character:
Sayid (Lost),
Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica),
Jack Donaghy (30 Rock) - alarmingly only men.
Least Favorite Character: Jenny Schechter (The L Word) - easily the most obnoxious person ever put on television.
New Series With The Most Wasted Potential: Reaper - one of the two new shows featuring a looser nerd becoming a reluctant hero (being a bounty hunter for devil and all).
Best Relationship: Liz Lemon & Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)
Best On-screen Pairing:
Joy & Darnell (My Name is Earl),
Locke & Ben (Lost)
Worst On-Screen Pairing: Meredith & McDreamy (Grey's Anatomy) - looking at the polls it seems like Jack & Kate (Lost) are going to win in a landslide. Someone posted "everyone & their sanity" (Battlestar Galactica) - ha!
Most Redemptive Character In An Otherwise Sucky Show:
Bree Van de Kamp-Hodge (Desperate Housewives)
Least Villainous Villain: The Devil (Reaper)
Most Unwelcome New Character: I guess there are some new regular folk with superpowers in Heroes, but I forgot all about them. That's how compelling this season has been.
Most Overhyped Big Name Guest Appearance: Britney Spears (How I Met Your Mother)
Character Most in Need Of Being Killed Off: Jack (Lost) - if only for my sanity, because I really liked him at the beginning and now I'm quite conflicted.
Also: Henry VIII (The Tudors) - but, alas, damn history.
Best Guest Star: Stephen Fry (Bones) - that had been last season, but as Sternfahrerin can undoubtedly confirm, Mr. Fry is genius.
Also: Dawson, eh, James Van der Beek as Robin Sparkles' congenial 90ties pop-ballad duet partner (How I Met Your Mother)
Best Sidekick: Socks (Reaper)
Most Painful Series Cancellation: Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars - I don' care that this one is water under the bridge a.k.a. strictly speaking not eligible because it happened last season. I'm still pining.
I have only seen one episode of Aliens in America and it looked like a reasonably intelligent and witty and warm coming-of-age / chauvinism deconstructing comedy, but I lost track. For the rest of the trash I don't shed a single tear. And giving Battlestar Galactica a definite ending was the best thing that could have happened.
Series Most Negatively Affected By The Writer's Strike:
Heroes - utter mess.
Best "Hell Yeah!" Moment: Everytime Captain Jack Harkness kisses one of his boy-toys (Torchwood). Bonus points if it is James Masters he is snogging.
Also: Sun teams up with evil Mr. Widmore to get revenge (Lost)
Best "WTF" Moment: One half of the cylon fleet gets blown up by the other half. (BSG)
Worst "WTF" Moment/Most Ludicrous Plotline: Mr. scientific logic Zach turns out to be the apprentice of a mystic cannibal, whose identity is irrelevant, despite the fact that he was the big bad guy for two seasons. I could have written a better script while doing my laundry. Yes I really do watch Bones. It's the only crime procedural I can tolerate.
Most Painful Retcon: I wish I could contribue, because it's a great category, but I just don't remember this well.
Best Performance By An Inanimate Object: the Vietnam War phone (BSG). All glorious vipers (BSG)
Best Season Finale: Lost, I'm afraid
Worst Use of Music In A Series: One Tree Hill; - the whole series is basically a big, sappy music montage without plot.
Best American Accent By A Non-American Actor: Hugh Laurie (Dr. House) - although I have never seen a full episode. Jamie Bamber (Lee Adama/BSG) emulates not too bad either.
Most Complicated Plotline: Lost - looking into a Lost forum makes you serioulsly doubt your sanity. But BSG is a strong contender. Especially the cylon plotline baffles me to no end. Once again, what is it that they want exactly?

Since I'm out of a regular job as of last Friday: If someone needs a personal TV consultant I'm clearly the right women for that assignment.

Wenn AltphilologInnen in studienfernen Sparten arbeiten:

aus dem Praskac Pflanzen-Onlinekatalog:
„Rose 'Paul’s Himalayan Musk' (Kletterrose, hellrosa)
Zart lavendelrosa, später weißlich verblassend, halbgefüllt, kleine Blüten in hängenden Büscheln, überaus wüchsig und halbschatten - tolerant, remontiert bei Rückschnitt nach erster Blüte. Im Epos 'Odyssee' beschreibt der griechische Schriftsteller Homer im 8. Jahrhundert v.Chr. das Leben der schönen & treuen Penelope, der Frau des Königs von Ithaka.“

... weil eine gekonnt eingeflochtene Erwähnung archaischer Mythologie noch niemandem geschadet hat.

Als eine jener Menschen, die es nie durch die Odyssee geschafft haben wäre ich für etwas obskurere Informationen dankbar - am besten in der Clematis-Sektion, die ich noch vor mir habe, z.B.:

„Clematis Viticella
Mit feinen Trieben und glockigen, violettpurpurnen Blüten eignet sich die Italienische Waldrebe zum Beranken von Pergolen, Mauern und Rankgittern. Waldreben generell lieben lichten Schatten oder Halbschatten sowie humose Böden. Im 11. Gesang verschlägt es Odysseus ins Land der Lothophagen (Lotosesser). Die vergessen - machenden Drogen ruinieren die Moral der Besatzung. Rückschnitt am diesjährigen Holz, erst im Sommer.“

p.s.: eigentlich sehr passend, dass sich die Odyssee in die Kletterrosen eingeschlichen hat, denn das einzige, an das ich mich von meiner 15 Jahre zurückliegenden Semi-Lektüre erinnern kann, ist die 'rosenfingrige Eos', die Morgenröte - eine der coolsten Metaphern überhaupt.

Das Netteste am Layout-Dasein für Menschen ohne visuelle Ambitionen (sprich: mich) ist die 0,2 prozentige Wahrscheinlichkeit, dass der eigene gutmütig-surreale Blindtext von Redaktion und Lektorat übersehen wird.

Noch erfüllender - aber nur ein gangbarer Weg für jene, die in üblen Medienkonglomeraten beschäftig sind - ist der subtile Sabotageakt in den Marginalien:


(Österreich, Do., 8. Mai 2008)

Es könnte natürlich durchaus sein, dass der Exekutive aufgrund der nicht mehr existenten akademischen Malausbildung nur mehr die vom internationalen Kunstmarkt schon wieder verdauten, desillusionierten AbsolventInnen der Medienklasse zur Verfügung stehen, um Phantombilder anzufertigen. Vielleicht fließen breits nicht unerhebliche Summen von Mitteln des Innenministeriums, die eigentlich in neue Tretgitter für die EM invenstiert werden hätten sollen, über undurchsichtige Kanäle in die Aufrechterhaltung des figurativen revivals. Das wäre ein super job. Wachtmeisterin Jenni hier ist für den Turner Preis zuständig. Das Beste aus zwei Welten quasi.